In our last post we discussed a few methods of communication.We also talked about the importance of intention and how we must be clear and confidant about it.
In this post I would like to talk about something that I use as a way to remind my students of some of what I think are the most important principles of communication. I call it The Alphabets of Communication.
As mentioned in our last post. We are most used to our verbal and written communication. It is made up of words formed into sentences. The progress continues into paragraphs,chapters, stories, and books. But it all starts with the letters that make up the words, our Alphabets. It's made up of 26 letters. The letters we tend to use most are our vowels. A E I O U and sometimes Y. These are the letters I like to use to help my students remember some very important principals. Each letter will represent a term or terms. These terms will be explained below in brief. In future posts they will explained in greater detail.
A: I use two words for A because they are both related to each other. The words are Attention and Awareness. In order to communicate with someone, (or your horse) you both must be paying Attention to each other and you must both be Aware of how and what you are communicating. In later posts I will explain this much deeper on how this relates to communicating with horses.
E: I use the word Evaluate. This corresponds well with Attention and Awareness. We need to Evaluate ourselves and the other party so as to be able to make sure we are clear with our Intention. In order to Evaluate we need to be Aware of things like mood, posture, Attention, and most of all Response.
I: You may have guessed is Intention. As I said earlier,"Confidently show clear intention respectfully and you will get results." We also need to be Aware of the other parties Intention. If we are we'll get less surprises. If we are paying Attention, are Aware, and make proper Evaluations. We can be clear with our Intention and be more Aware of the other parties Intention.
O: I like to use a word that means timing. Opportune. It is important to be able to notice when the Opportune moment would be to act, react, or interact. If your timing is right, you will be more likely to get better results.
U: I use the word Understand. We must Understand that we / or the other party may not fully Understand something. The saying is true. We don't know what we don't know till we learn it. It is also true that what we do know and Understand is only relative to our experience of the subject. We usually have so much more to learn. No matter how much we know about it.
Y: I use the words Why and Why not. I also use the phrase You Yourself. We always need to be asking the questions Why and Why not. It allows us to do a better job in our Evaluation. It will also help us to be more Aware. As long as we are paying Attention. If both questions are answered. Then we will have a better Understanding. The You Yourself is the answer for the questions above. Especially If something isn't going well. I say that because we can only control our action in order to get a better outcome. If we make excuses like. These people are so unreasonable. Then we loose the power to make a change for the better. We need to look back at ourselves to see what do we need to do in order to make progress. Sometimes the only answer is, we need to end the conversation for now.
To put this all together. In order to communicate, we need to have Understanding, and Intention. We need to Understand the other parties Intention, and we need to be clear with our Intention. This all becomes easy the more we pay Attention. The more Aware we are, The better we can Evaluate. If we Evaluate we can find or create the most Opportune moments to interact. We can gain a better Understanding by always asking Why and Why not. If we remember that the answer should always be You Yourself. Then you will be more likely to look back at yourself to find answers instead of looking at the other party and making excuses.
I hope you enjoyed reading this and find it helpful. These things mentioned above are things I am always trying to remind myself and my students about. It's something that starts to grow inside of you the more Aware you are. You will make mistakes. We tend to miss things that are right in front of our faces. Mistakes are a learning process. Don't be afraid to make them.
Please, all comments are welcome. Lets Communicate together.