Wednesday, December 19, 2012
In order to speak to someone. You must both speak the same language so that you can understand each other.
The same is true for writing to someone. But more so you must both be able to read and write.
Body language is something that is almost instinctive. If someone gives us a dirty look we can tell right away that they may not like us, or didn't like what we just said. At the same time if someone is genuinely happy to see us. We can tell in the way they great us.
We, the human race, have relied on verbal and written communication for so long that it seams we listen to and believe everything that we are told. We tend to ignore the body language that could tell us if the person we are communicating with is being truthful, or they are hiding something.
In our written language we can't see any body language. What we can see are keys in the writing itself. The use of punctuation is a key to help us understand. We can go even deeper into the writing and see the intent of the person writing it. With practice you can tell when someone is trying to put one over on you. Of course there are people who are professionals at getting there lies made believable in the way they communicate.
This is why it is important to take and learn as many principals of communication as you can. I have put together something that helps me communicate with People and Horses. It doesn't matter whether you are talking, writing, or using body language. The principals will work and help you have a better understanding of them, and they can have a better understanding of you.
I always say "Confidently Show Clear Intention Respectfully, and you will get results."
With that being said your confidence needs to be knowledge based. We can't be bold, or it can't be out of bravery. Confidence with a knowledge base will give a good secure feeling to the other party. A brave or bold confidence will come of as arrogance. This may tend to repel the other party.
knowing as much as possible about the topic you are communicating, allows you to feel confident. If you are teaching something its even more important. Knowing what is supposed to happen and what could happen will give you the ability to react in a positive way if something doesn't work out.
Clear Intention is something we all need to recognize. Intention isn't just a thought, or a wish. It requires some sort of follow through. We can't say one thing and mean another. We also have to be on the lookout for the intention of the other party. How many times have you been told something, and when it came down to it. You find out you were mislead? Clear intention is something that is real important to recognize. Whether you are talking, writing, or gesturing.
Respectfully sounds so simple. It can be, but for some of us we are to busy trying to respect the other and not requiring them to respect us. Respect is a two way street. Some of us don't even know what respect is. Now that's a problem. With respect given and received, we will be able to communicate better. An example of this could be. If you were talking to someone you don't have any respect for. You may not even care at all about what they are trying to say.