In this topic I would like to explain my take and understanding of different responses we or our horses may have, what they mean, and why I feel it is important to know the difference. In each response we are communicating something. There is information there for us to figure out. There are other terms I could have used but I wanted 3 distinct categories. Be aware that in some cases we could have a little of all three or any two categories show up at the same time in our response to something. Knowing how to determine and analyze what you have will help you make better decisions.
The 3 categories I chose for this is like the title suggests. React, Respond, and Retaliate. Each term represents a different mental state. Your mental state and emotional status (or your horses) will determine the type of response. So in the same way, if we evaluate the type of response we are getting. We will know what kind of mental or emotional state we are dealing with. If we know this, it will help us make better decisions when it comes to trying to help.
React:
Lets start by talking about the term React. If we react to something it ends up being more of a reflex type response. Usually something scares or startles us and we have a reaction. A nervous person or a nervous horse will tend to react to things. Examples of a reaction could be if we touch something hot enough to burn us we will react by pulling away. Also if we walk around a corner and we just about bump into someone we might instantly freeze or back up. A loud noise may startle us and we react by jumping or freezing up. Another could be a fear we have of something like a mouse, snake, spider, bee's or bat's that whenever we see one the fear takes over and does not allow us to think very clearly and we react in ways like, turning and running, climbing on a table, swatting and ducking. Sometimes bumping into things and just not thinking about anything we are doing till the threat is gone.
Many people who ride horses are Reactive riders. Meaning they sit on top of the horse and react to whatever the horse does. If the horse gets startled the person will tend to react by clamping or pulling on the reins. Another example of a Reactive rider is the person who may not be aware of their horses movement all that well. They sit on top of the horse and as long as they are going where they are supposed to they don't do anything. Most times they are oblivious to the horses mental or emotional status. So when the horse strays or changes speed the rider reacts with a correction as to say don't do that. The opposite of this type of rider would be the active rider. This will be covered below in the respond category.
Respond
This term is quite universal. Every type of a response means you respond in some way or another. As above states to React is to respond most often in a reflex like manner. The next topic Retaliate is to respond in objection. The term Respond means to answer or reply. I am talking about this category as a neutral response. One that is of making a conscious effort to understand and respond appropriately. The phrase,"How would you respond appropriately?" is a question asked of a lot of people. The effort to give thought into a decision to respond makes it a response in which we can learn, it can teach, and or make a positive outcome. Doing this will minimize disagreements or arguments. As the definition suggests to respond is also to reply. So when a question is raised we must make a conscious effort to reply. Your horse will ask you Questions every moment you are with them. If you listen to them and not just sit up on top of them you will have many opportunities to respond appropriately and reply to the many questions they raise. This here is an example of an Active Rider. Even on the ground, they listen and respond with conscious thought and effort put toward understanding the needs of their horse. All this is done with every step, every breath and every movement.
Retaliate
To retaliate is to respond with objection. It can be out of anger, stubbornness, or just plain disapproval. People and Horses retaliate physically and verbally for many different reasons. Sometimes they are sticking up for themselves. Other times they may just not want to do whatever is asked of them. When we get this type of response from someone or a horse we need to evaluate why they did it. Making sure not to make excuses for why but really look for the answer. We do not want to guess at this. If we just react to retaliation then we end up in a war. We need to think it through and figure it out so we can respond appropriately. This way we can learn, teach, and make a positive outcome instead of going into battle unnecessarily.
As I said above, we may have all or just a few of these in play at any one time. We need to take the time to evaluate who is doing it, what they are doing, when they are more likely to do it, where it might be likely to happen, why it happens, how it comes about and think about how to go about responding appropriately to make a difference. That was just a quick run down and another way to look at a previous Blog Topic called, " The Who What When Where Why and How of Horsemanship" You may enjoy reading this one as well. It can help you with your evaluation skills.
So in closing here I would like to say the middle of the road in terms of responses would be to respond in a logical and ethical manner. The times that we need to react quickly in response to something should be something we have planned out ahead of time. "A Conditioned Response" would be when a reflex like response is needed during certain times or conditions. We can train ourselves and our horses to respond in a certain way during these conditions. In this way, we or they, can respond appropriately with a proper reaction. I have to say I enjoy the compliments I get on my horses. I hear people say, "they respond so well" This is do to me taking the time to respond appropriately to them and their needs, as well as teach them to think things out and respond appropriately instead of reacting mindlessly. I don't get any retaliation because they learn to appreciate me and want to do things with me and don't feel threatened in any way. I work with their fear and emotions in a way they learn to respond under pressure and not just react or retaliate. As we all know, no matter how good it is, there is always room for improvement. We should all strive to find the knowledge and understanding to do that.
I hope this all makes sense to everyone and you all enjoyed reading it. I want to thank you all for reading along. Please feel free to comment or ask questions. It may help expand all of our knowledge and understanding.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Communication - Right From The Horses Mouth
The title of this topic will take us in a few different directions. One will be understanding the source of information that we may receive in our daily communications with others as well as our horses. Another will be about how we need to ask our horse directly what they need from us and not just assume we know or make excuses for what is going on. They will tell you if you ask them and know how to listen for the answer.
Understanding the source of information is real important. Even if the source is a real reputable source. What I mean by this is. No one will repeat something exactly the way they heard it. So as this information goes from one to another, It will change a little each time. Not because they want to change it, but because they will repeat it in the way they understood it. I learned this lesson young by playing a game at a Halloween party as a child. If you haven't ever played this game I highly recommend you try it. The larger the group the better (or worse) the results will be. It starts with everyone in a line. Then someone in charge will have a simple sentence written on a piece of paper. They will show it to the first person and ask them to whisper it to the person next to them. Each person doing the same till it makes it to the last person. Then the last person is asked to say out loud what they were just told. Every time I have seen this done in the past the last person says something almost totally unrecognizable to the original sentence. Which every one will get to see because it is written on paper. The conversations of what each person heard on down the line are amazing to listen to.
This game was an early lesson for me in the need to seek the truth. Now Truth is never absolute. It can only be relative to our own experiences, knowledge and understanding. No matter how much you try to discover the truth it can never be absolute truth. The more information you get the closer you get, but something will always be missing.
Now, we have all heard the term,"Right From The Horses Mouth" This by far is the best source for information. Just as in the cases above and when communicating with your horse this information is only relative to your knowledge and understanding of what you received for information. We will interpret it the way we understand it. Not necessarily the way it was intended. It requires us to do some research on the subject, no matter what it is and no matter what we think we might know. There have been times that a person has said to me,"This is what my trainer or instructor told me to do." Knowing what I know in most cases they just misunderstood the original instructions. I say this because a few times I have instructed people on some things and moments later (sometimes days later) I would have to explain it better because they interpreted it in a way that I did not intend. But this is human nature. We understand things each in our own ways. So this is why more research is always needed. With our horses it might require us to try a number of things to rule things out. A few examples I could give referring to horses could be, 1) an injury or health problem, and 2) any problem a horse might give you while working with them. Whether its on the ground asking them to do something or mounted. Not just asking them to do something but maybe they are doing something we would like them to stop doing.
In both examples above, knowing how to build a foundation will help. If you already have a reasonable foundation going back to the building of the foundation can help you ask all the important questions so you can get to the underlying issues. Most problems with a horse come from either a total or partial lack of foundation. The actual problem being that the horse does not understand. Or. Does not trust the out come of the situation. When a foundation is built and maintained it grows stronger. When it does the horse learns to trust you and will do anything you ask them to. Also you will have developed ways to ask them not to do things that you would like them to stop doing. In this way you have the ability to ask the horse directly and if you understand your horse, you will get the answers directly from the horses mouth, so to speak.
In the examples above, if fear and anxiety are the underlying issue. Then we need to go back to basics and rebuild our foundation. Working on building trust and understanding in as many areas as we can. We need to get this to a point that the horse appreciates us so much that no matter what we ask of them, they will try. Because they want to, not because we force them to. Some horses are more fearful then others. Some of them will never stop being afraid. But we can communicate to them, "Relax, I got this. You don't need to worry one bit" and no matter how scared they are, they will trust in you. This is an example of a sold foundation. The more you get them through scary moments without incident and in a positive way, the more they trust and learn to let go of their anxiety.
Having the ability to ask them to do many things gives you a better chance of diagnosing a physical problem as well. If our horse has a limp and we want to learn whether its a foot, joint, or muscle problem. If we have the ability to ask for some precise movements, then we can narrow it down. An example of this is, if the horse limps, and you can ask them to walk straight, back up, turn on the haunches, turn on the forehand, and stand still but shift there weight to be carried mostly on any one leg of your choosing. Then you have a lot of ways to ask them where the problem is. If there is heat or swelling you can find the problem easily. If there is not then you will need to ask them. If they have a hard time putting weight on a leg then you know which leg is the problem. to find out if its a joint or muscle issue you would ask them to load the muscle and not effect the joint and then avoid affecting the muscle while asking for an easy move that affects the joint. Each joint should be tested individually. Whichever is harder for them to do, that is where the problem lies. If you and your horse do not have this type of communication and they refuse or don't understand your request. Then it can be very difficult to figure things out. Of course it is wise to seek out help from a vet, farrier or hoof specialist but these things can still help you help them get a better answer and understanding of the problem.
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed the topic. If you have anything to add please feel free to do so in the comment section. Thanks Again.
Understanding the source of information is real important. Even if the source is a real reputable source. What I mean by this is. No one will repeat something exactly the way they heard it. So as this information goes from one to another, It will change a little each time. Not because they want to change it, but because they will repeat it in the way they understood it. I learned this lesson young by playing a game at a Halloween party as a child. If you haven't ever played this game I highly recommend you try it. The larger the group the better (or worse) the results will be. It starts with everyone in a line. Then someone in charge will have a simple sentence written on a piece of paper. They will show it to the first person and ask them to whisper it to the person next to them. Each person doing the same till it makes it to the last person. Then the last person is asked to say out loud what they were just told. Every time I have seen this done in the past the last person says something almost totally unrecognizable to the original sentence. Which every one will get to see because it is written on paper. The conversations of what each person heard on down the line are amazing to listen to.
This game was an early lesson for me in the need to seek the truth. Now Truth is never absolute. It can only be relative to our own experiences, knowledge and understanding. No matter how much you try to discover the truth it can never be absolute truth. The more information you get the closer you get, but something will always be missing.
Now, we have all heard the term,"Right From The Horses Mouth" This by far is the best source for information. Just as in the cases above and when communicating with your horse this information is only relative to your knowledge and understanding of what you received for information. We will interpret it the way we understand it. Not necessarily the way it was intended. It requires us to do some research on the subject, no matter what it is and no matter what we think we might know. There have been times that a person has said to me,"This is what my trainer or instructor told me to do." Knowing what I know in most cases they just misunderstood the original instructions. I say this because a few times I have instructed people on some things and moments later (sometimes days later) I would have to explain it better because they interpreted it in a way that I did not intend. But this is human nature. We understand things each in our own ways. So this is why more research is always needed. With our horses it might require us to try a number of things to rule things out. A few examples I could give referring to horses could be, 1) an injury or health problem, and 2) any problem a horse might give you while working with them. Whether its on the ground asking them to do something or mounted. Not just asking them to do something but maybe they are doing something we would like them to stop doing.
In both examples above, knowing how to build a foundation will help. If you already have a reasonable foundation going back to the building of the foundation can help you ask all the important questions so you can get to the underlying issues. Most problems with a horse come from either a total or partial lack of foundation. The actual problem being that the horse does not understand. Or. Does not trust the out come of the situation. When a foundation is built and maintained it grows stronger. When it does the horse learns to trust you and will do anything you ask them to. Also you will have developed ways to ask them not to do things that you would like them to stop doing. In this way you have the ability to ask the horse directly and if you understand your horse, you will get the answers directly from the horses mouth, so to speak.
In the examples above, if fear and anxiety are the underlying issue. Then we need to go back to basics and rebuild our foundation. Working on building trust and understanding in as many areas as we can. We need to get this to a point that the horse appreciates us so much that no matter what we ask of them, they will try. Because they want to, not because we force them to. Some horses are more fearful then others. Some of them will never stop being afraid. But we can communicate to them, "Relax, I got this. You don't need to worry one bit" and no matter how scared they are, they will trust in you. This is an example of a sold foundation. The more you get them through scary moments without incident and in a positive way, the more they trust and learn to let go of their anxiety.
Having the ability to ask them to do many things gives you a better chance of diagnosing a physical problem as well. If our horse has a limp and we want to learn whether its a foot, joint, or muscle problem. If we have the ability to ask for some precise movements, then we can narrow it down. An example of this is, if the horse limps, and you can ask them to walk straight, back up, turn on the haunches, turn on the forehand, and stand still but shift there weight to be carried mostly on any one leg of your choosing. Then you have a lot of ways to ask them where the problem is. If there is heat or swelling you can find the problem easily. If there is not then you will need to ask them. If they have a hard time putting weight on a leg then you know which leg is the problem. to find out if its a joint or muscle issue you would ask them to load the muscle and not effect the joint and then avoid affecting the muscle while asking for an easy move that affects the joint. Each joint should be tested individually. Whichever is harder for them to do, that is where the problem lies. If you and your horse do not have this type of communication and they refuse or don't understand your request. Then it can be very difficult to figure things out. Of course it is wise to seek out help from a vet, farrier or hoof specialist but these things can still help you help them get a better answer and understanding of the problem.
Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed the topic. If you have anything to add please feel free to do so in the comment section. Thanks Again.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Respect and Communication Leads To Better Understanding
Respect is a much needed component of communication. If you have ever had a conversation with someone who doesn't have any respect for you, or you may not have had much respect for them. You can compare this to a conversation you had with someone where both parties respect each other greatly and you can clearly see the point I'm trying to make. But the line for respect and disrespect is one that is not very clear.
What exactly is respect or to be respectful?
We all know the words and feel as though we know what they mean. But there are many times when we want to show respect for one and by doing so we disrespect another. I think the problem in this lies in the fact that we take things personally and not for what it really is. Facts are facts and sometimes we need to learn to accept the facts and move on and not feel disrespected.
There are many of us who do our best to respect others. Or at least try not to disrespect them. Sometimes by doing this, the other party will disrespect us. The main reason for this in my opinion is we are not accepting and or acknowledging the fact that we deserve respect in return. We all deserve respect. Its a two way street. Of course we need to show respect to others if we expect them to respect us back. There may be times that we need to say, "Hey, I'm trying to show you some respect, How about a little in return". This will show that we have self-respect. We need to respect ourselves if we expect others to respect us as well.
How about the times we don't tell people the things they should hear because we don't want to hurt them or we think they might misunderstand? We feel we are being respectful by not saying and hurting them. But we are really disrespecting them by hiding this from them. Hidden facts are a very disrespectful thing, especially when you are communicating something to someone or your horse. They deserve to have all the facts.
So how does all this relate to communication?
Well communication is used by all forms of life to communicate our wants, needs and ambitions. Many species play games with their communications to gain an upper hand, but none more than the human race. So much purposeful disrespect is shown by humans its sickening. We see it very clearly in Politicians and Business men. In commercials and advertisements everywhere. We see all forms of slander adds, not giving all the facts, trying to get us to their side or to buy their product. This all plays on our own self-respect, making us feel like we have to make a definitive choice. In many ways it takes so much away from us if we fall for any of it. Taking sides closes our minds and blocks the paths to understanding. By not allowing ourselves to see the different views of others, and or discrediting them, we lose out on comparisons that would lead to better understanding. Many of us jump on a band wagon and join the cause, even if it is a demise to humanity. This in turn breeds more disrespect. Sometimes through retaliation from the other side but mostly because people want to feel like they are liked by others so they join in. The disrespectful behavior becomes the most important part of the communication so they can tip the scales in their favor and persuade us to think in that way.
I see this in the horse world as well. There are many Trainers and Instructors out there. All of them have something to share with us. Many are very similar in their concepts and techniques. It bothers me a lot when I hear another person say discrediting or disrespectful things about someone who works to help others. Especially when it is someone else in the same field. To me its not that they are knocking a person down, I see through all that and seek the facts. Its more that I see a person who has little to no self respect, and that saddens me. The fact that they want others to think they are better than the person they are knocking says real loud and clear that they are insecure, or in desperate need to show that they know something about the subject or topic. Even though the way they understand it is just different than the person they are running off about. If we have enough respect to try and understand other points of view it will help us in the long run by giving us another path to better understanding. To me there is no one person better than anyone else. Regardless of skill level. I have learned as much from my students, (some of which were very green and inexperienced) as I have from very experienced trainers. We all have something to share, and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. We just need to learn where to look to find understanding. You would be amazed at some of the places it shows up. Sometimes understanding of one thing comes from something you would think is totally unrelated. Sometimes the path to understanding is covered up by things we can't see through. But if we look for it we will find it. It truly is everywhere you look.
So why did I go through all that?
Well us humans we tend to carry this into our work with our horses. Not showing them enough respect. We tend to go in and act as if we know it all and they need to listen. We can be so arrogant without even trying. Its learned behavior and getting worse as generations come up behind us. It should all start with having self respect. Self respect comes from confidence and knowledge and helps us find understanding; When we understand that we have the ability and responsibility to provide for the horses needs, that leads to respecting the horse. Then we move to respecting the fact that the horse has every right to have self-respect and to demand respect from us.When they do, they will do the same for us. Then the cycle can continue. Each time it does we gain more respect, better communication and more understanding.
We can respect them by evaluating and being aware of their needs and providing for them. This is more than just giving them food, shelter, and water. They have emotional needs as well and we should provide for those needs. We do that by listening to them. They can't tell us verbally but we can learn to read them. They are always telling us something. Sometimes many things all at once. The more I do this the more it amazes me how much they say to us and we just didn't understand. In most cases this is from our lack of awareness and acknowledging respect for them.
An example of how better results come through respect.
Have you ever worked at a place or been in a situation where one person suggests something and its ignored while someone else could suggest something even more ridiculous and it would be accepted? This would be an example of a person having more respect for one over the other. Even though in this situation it isn't warranted.
I gave the example above to show that if there is a mutual respect for each other, then you can ask things that may otherwise be ignored. Your conversations can go in almost any direction and not be dismissed as ridiculous. This when it comes to horses will give them so much try and open the lines of communication like you never imagined. A simple concept that will get your horse to respect you more is,"Encourage don't Demand" Give them the respect to choose and think things out for themselves. Just remember you may need to gently guide them there. We discussed this in our last post, There Are No Wrong Answers"
I hope many people get to read this and it makes sense. I also hope others have more to add to this through the comment section in ways that help us all make the world a better place.
If you like this and think others will to, please share it out to your friends.
Thanks for reading.
What exactly is respect or to be respectful?
We all know the words and feel as though we know what they mean. But there are many times when we want to show respect for one and by doing so we disrespect another. I think the problem in this lies in the fact that we take things personally and not for what it really is. Facts are facts and sometimes we need to learn to accept the facts and move on and not feel disrespected.
There are many of us who do our best to respect others. Or at least try not to disrespect them. Sometimes by doing this, the other party will disrespect us. The main reason for this in my opinion is we are not accepting and or acknowledging the fact that we deserve respect in return. We all deserve respect. Its a two way street. Of course we need to show respect to others if we expect them to respect us back. There may be times that we need to say, "Hey, I'm trying to show you some respect, How about a little in return". This will show that we have self-respect. We need to respect ourselves if we expect others to respect us as well.
How about the times we don't tell people the things they should hear because we don't want to hurt them or we think they might misunderstand? We feel we are being respectful by not saying and hurting them. But we are really disrespecting them by hiding this from them. Hidden facts are a very disrespectful thing, especially when you are communicating something to someone or your horse. They deserve to have all the facts.
So how does all this relate to communication?
Well communication is used by all forms of life to communicate our wants, needs and ambitions. Many species play games with their communications to gain an upper hand, but none more than the human race. So much purposeful disrespect is shown by humans its sickening. We see it very clearly in Politicians and Business men. In commercials and advertisements everywhere. We see all forms of slander adds, not giving all the facts, trying to get us to their side or to buy their product. This all plays on our own self-respect, making us feel like we have to make a definitive choice. In many ways it takes so much away from us if we fall for any of it. Taking sides closes our minds and blocks the paths to understanding. By not allowing ourselves to see the different views of others, and or discrediting them, we lose out on comparisons that would lead to better understanding. Many of us jump on a band wagon and join the cause, even if it is a demise to humanity. This in turn breeds more disrespect. Sometimes through retaliation from the other side but mostly because people want to feel like they are liked by others so they join in. The disrespectful behavior becomes the most important part of the communication so they can tip the scales in their favor and persuade us to think in that way.
I see this in the horse world as well. There are many Trainers and Instructors out there. All of them have something to share with us. Many are very similar in their concepts and techniques. It bothers me a lot when I hear another person say discrediting or disrespectful things about someone who works to help others. Especially when it is someone else in the same field. To me its not that they are knocking a person down, I see through all that and seek the facts. Its more that I see a person who has little to no self respect, and that saddens me. The fact that they want others to think they are better than the person they are knocking says real loud and clear that they are insecure, or in desperate need to show that they know something about the subject or topic. Even though the way they understand it is just different than the person they are running off about. If we have enough respect to try and understand other points of view it will help us in the long run by giving us another path to better understanding. To me there is no one person better than anyone else. Regardless of skill level. I have learned as much from my students, (some of which were very green and inexperienced) as I have from very experienced trainers. We all have something to share, and we all have different strengths and weaknesses. We just need to learn where to look to find understanding. You would be amazed at some of the places it shows up. Sometimes understanding of one thing comes from something you would think is totally unrelated. Sometimes the path to understanding is covered up by things we can't see through. But if we look for it we will find it. It truly is everywhere you look.
So why did I go through all that?
Well us humans we tend to carry this into our work with our horses. Not showing them enough respect. We tend to go in and act as if we know it all and they need to listen. We can be so arrogant without even trying. Its learned behavior and getting worse as generations come up behind us. It should all start with having self respect. Self respect comes from confidence and knowledge and helps us find understanding; When we understand that we have the ability and responsibility to provide for the horses needs, that leads to respecting the horse. Then we move to respecting the fact that the horse has every right to have self-respect and to demand respect from us.When they do, they will do the same for us. Then the cycle can continue. Each time it does we gain more respect, better communication and more understanding.
We can respect them by evaluating and being aware of their needs and providing for them. This is more than just giving them food, shelter, and water. They have emotional needs as well and we should provide for those needs. We do that by listening to them. They can't tell us verbally but we can learn to read them. They are always telling us something. Sometimes many things all at once. The more I do this the more it amazes me how much they say to us and we just didn't understand. In most cases this is from our lack of awareness and acknowledging respect for them.
An example of how better results come through respect.
Have you ever worked at a place or been in a situation where one person suggests something and its ignored while someone else could suggest something even more ridiculous and it would be accepted? This would be an example of a person having more respect for one over the other. Even though in this situation it isn't warranted.
I gave the example above to show that if there is a mutual respect for each other, then you can ask things that may otherwise be ignored. Your conversations can go in almost any direction and not be dismissed as ridiculous. This when it comes to horses will give them so much try and open the lines of communication like you never imagined. A simple concept that will get your horse to respect you more is,"Encourage don't Demand" Give them the respect to choose and think things out for themselves. Just remember you may need to gently guide them there. We discussed this in our last post, There Are No Wrong Answers"
I hope many people get to read this and it makes sense. I also hope others have more to add to this through the comment section in ways that help us all make the world a better place.
If you like this and think others will to, please share it out to your friends.
Thanks for reading.
Friday, February 7, 2014
There Are No Wrong Answers
This is a hard concept to grasp but if we want to get someones appreciation, we will do it best by not making them feel like they are wrong. A teaching concept I like to use that I call, "Redirect and Reward" is a way of asking questions in a way to gently guide them to the correct response. Always making them comfortable with there decision. In this way they not only start to accept me but also they learn to appreciate me. They also become very confidant, and start to think things out, searching for intention.
At a few demonstration last year I had an example of how this works. I started the Demonstration with a card trick. I tell everyone that this card trick will teach you everything you need to know about working with horses. The card trick starts with me getting a volunteer. I ask them to check the deck of cards to make sure it is a real deck. I then ask them to shuffle the deck. Then we cut the deck, put the bottom half on top and I put the deck in my pocket. I then ask them to make a number of choices. Starting with picking 6 numbers and or Jack, Queen, King. After each choice I ask them if they are happy with their choice and would they like to change any of the choices. If they do, we make the change. We move on to choosing 3, then 2 then 1 until we have a card. Then I ask them to choose 2 suits, then 1 suit. Again every time asking them if they like their choice and asking if they want to make any changes. Once we have a card and a suit, I ask them to say the first number that comes to their mind no matter how large the number is. We then reduce this number numerically until it is a value of 52 or less. I then start pulling cards out of my pocket and when we reach the number value, out comes the card they picked.
This card trick is the best example of Redirect and Reward that I can come up with. I do explain how it works. You see I know the end result by looking at the bottom card before it goes into my pocket. So I keep asking questions till we get there. We choose numbers, if they choose this card we work from those numbers, if not we eliminate the ones they chose and work from the ones that are left. We do the same with the suits. The number they choose is totally irrelevant but say they chose 5280, we reduce it numerically by adding 5+2+8+0= 15. So I take the first 14 card from the top of the deck and the 15th is taken from the bottom.
This tends to amaze people the first time they see it. All it is, is me gently guiding them to my end result. I know what the end result is and I keep asking questions making sure they never feel wrong or intimidated into making a choice. I use this same concept while working with a horse. If they do something other than what I'm looking for, I just redirect them and reward every try. With the one exception that if they challenge me in any way, like try to run me down, bite or kick at me, I will tell them with and unconditional "NO" This doesn't happen if I get a chance to start at the beginning of my program but does happen on occasion when helping someone with their horse and the horse doesn't have much of a foundation. (All problems are do to a lack of something in their foundation) Its a shame to because a good foundation takes 5 hrs or less to install in most cases. Its not finished at that point, there is still work needed over the next few months to help it cure to being solid in their minds and will need maintenance throughout the horses life.
A lot of problems come from a horse that is just saying, "No I Don't Want To" This horse has lost its TRY, or There Want to Please. Maybe they just got tired of being told no themselves to many times. Working in the way described above will make them feel better about you, the task at hand, and themselves. They learn to think things out and start searching for intention in all things and situations. It boosts their confidence. This creates a very calm and willing horse. With each cue and or situation you work through, they get a much larger vocabulary. This leads to better understanding. Not just that your horse understands what is going on but they understand us and our intentions as well as we understand them to a much deeper level. The more you understand each other, The better the relationship. Remember we not only want them to accept us and what we ask of them. We want them to appreciate us and want to do these things because they enjoy being with us. Its very easily attainable if you keep an open mind and search real hard for understanding yourself.
If we know the end result we are looking for, and we create a path to get there. Knowing there will be challenges along the way and prepare for a way to get past them. There is nothing we can't achieve.
Thank you for reading along.
At a few demonstration last year I had an example of how this works. I started the Demonstration with a card trick. I tell everyone that this card trick will teach you everything you need to know about working with horses. The card trick starts with me getting a volunteer. I ask them to check the deck of cards to make sure it is a real deck. I then ask them to shuffle the deck. Then we cut the deck, put the bottom half on top and I put the deck in my pocket. I then ask them to make a number of choices. Starting with picking 6 numbers and or Jack, Queen, King. After each choice I ask them if they are happy with their choice and would they like to change any of the choices. If they do, we make the change. We move on to choosing 3, then 2 then 1 until we have a card. Then I ask them to choose 2 suits, then 1 suit. Again every time asking them if they like their choice and asking if they want to make any changes. Once we have a card and a suit, I ask them to say the first number that comes to their mind no matter how large the number is. We then reduce this number numerically until it is a value of 52 or less. I then start pulling cards out of my pocket and when we reach the number value, out comes the card they picked.
This card trick is the best example of Redirect and Reward that I can come up with. I do explain how it works. You see I know the end result by looking at the bottom card before it goes into my pocket. So I keep asking questions till we get there. We choose numbers, if they choose this card we work from those numbers, if not we eliminate the ones they chose and work from the ones that are left. We do the same with the suits. The number they choose is totally irrelevant but say they chose 5280, we reduce it numerically by adding 5+2+8+0= 15. So I take the first 14 card from the top of the deck and the 15th is taken from the bottom.
This tends to amaze people the first time they see it. All it is, is me gently guiding them to my end result. I know what the end result is and I keep asking questions making sure they never feel wrong or intimidated into making a choice. I use this same concept while working with a horse. If they do something other than what I'm looking for, I just redirect them and reward every try. With the one exception that if they challenge me in any way, like try to run me down, bite or kick at me, I will tell them with and unconditional "NO" This doesn't happen if I get a chance to start at the beginning of my program but does happen on occasion when helping someone with their horse and the horse doesn't have much of a foundation. (All problems are do to a lack of something in their foundation) Its a shame to because a good foundation takes 5 hrs or less to install in most cases. Its not finished at that point, there is still work needed over the next few months to help it cure to being solid in their minds and will need maintenance throughout the horses life.
A lot of problems come from a horse that is just saying, "No I Don't Want To" This horse has lost its TRY, or There Want to Please. Maybe they just got tired of being told no themselves to many times. Working in the way described above will make them feel better about you, the task at hand, and themselves. They learn to think things out and start searching for intention in all things and situations. It boosts their confidence. This creates a very calm and willing horse. With each cue and or situation you work through, they get a much larger vocabulary. This leads to better understanding. Not just that your horse understands what is going on but they understand us and our intentions as well as we understand them to a much deeper level. The more you understand each other, The better the relationship. Remember we not only want them to accept us and what we ask of them. We want them to appreciate us and want to do these things because they enjoy being with us. Its very easily attainable if you keep an open mind and search real hard for understanding yourself.
If we know the end result we are looking for, and we create a path to get there. Knowing there will be challenges along the way and prepare for a way to get past them. There is nothing we can't achieve.
Thank you for reading along.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Interaction and Communication
Interaction is needed in all forms of communication. The definition is, an action when 2 or more things have an affect on one another. It is a form of cause and effect in many ways. Magnets communicate through interaction by pushing apart or pulling themselves together. There are many subtleties in all forms of Interaction. The radiation of the Sun interacts with all living things, plant and animal. As well as the Earth and rock. Without the subtle Interactions with the Sun, plants wouldn't grow, there would be no evaporation, warming, and it even produces vitamin D naturally in the human body. The Suns energy interacts and effects everything in and beyond our solar system. Its the reason all the Planets orbit around it. These are just a few simple examples of Interaction.
We have Interactions in so many ways on a daily basis. Whenever there is anything in close proximity, there will be interaction of some kind. There are even interactions with things that are light years away and still they have an effect on us. Just passing someone on the street is an interaction. You may have needed to move over so to not run into them. Maybe you admired something they were wearing, carrying, or the smell of their perfume or cologne. Sometimes a moment of interaction becomes embedded as a memory. It may be forgotten only to reappear decades later. The simple idea of catching a cold, or disease is interaction related. Transferred from one to another and travels throughout. Some of which started generations ago, maybe even century's ago.
We tend to go through life almost totally oblivious to our interactions with others. Not paying any attention to cause and effect in any way. Our focus tends to be more on our own wants and needs. Other things tend to be outside of our acknowledgment or understanding. Only people who work at obtaining a heightened sense of awareness will even begin to acknowledge it or try to understand it. The more we are aware of these things, the more we can evaluate and learn. Increasing our knowledge and understanding as well as our ability to communicate.
I can barely show you a puddle compared to the oceans of knowledge and understanding you can find on your own if you work on making yourself more aware of things. Evaluate, Read and Interpret simple interactions you may not even give a second thought to every now and then.
When it comes to your horse, you are having interactions all the time. As soon as they hear you coming, there is an effect of some kind. You can be a mile away, but if they can see or hear you, you are interacting. Interpret what cause and the effect this cause has on you, and your horse. Open your mind to a more heightened awareness. This will get you closer to the truth about what is happening. Most of us just assume. This leads to making excuses for a happening of some kind. Not allowing us to decipher what is really happening and why. In this way we have no idea on how to make it better. Sometimes we are not even aware there is a problem in the first place.
Working with horses opened my mind to so many things. Things I would otherwise think don't even matter. Trust me when I say, "it all matters, every bit of it" I am finding the more I learn and understand, the more there is to learn and understand. The one thing I understand best is that it is never ending, and that my understanding will change from time to time as my knowledge and experience increases.
So I invoke a challenge in all of you. Evaluate your Interactions. Search for better understanding. It's a well groomed path to enlightenment, and the view along the way is so inspirational.
Thanks for reading along.
Thanks for reading along.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
The Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How of Horsemanship
Being this is a Blog about Communication. I thought it would be wise to write about this topic. After all, any good journalist who is writing about something will ask and answer all of these questions in order to communicate their understanding to the best of their ability. So I started pondering on the Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How of Horsemanship. All simple questions we need to ask and have the answer to before moving on to the next part. Its also important for us to be clear with our communications in what we are saying and in what we are hearing and interpreting. In Horsemanship, we must also ask How Much. We all go to clinics and demonstrations to try and learn something new. Most of us go to learn WHAT this trainer does and HOW they do it. But many of us leave out the rest. If this is all we take from it, we will get less than 25% of the information. Its all important. When communicating something to someone else or a horse all of these things should be known.
WHO as in who's turn is it to speak, or who needs to respond, and who needs to listen?
WHAT would be more than just what do i do now. It would refer to what is it I need, or what is the horse saying to me and what do they need from me? What goes so deep that we want to know spot on what we want or need to happen, Like front end or hind end movement, forward or backward, what position or body shape are we looking for?,,,etc...etc. What could also pertain to what is the anxiety level in us and or our horses. We should ask what could happen if we try this, as well as what should happen? So we need to think what do we want to happen and what is actually happening?
WHEN as in when is the best time to speak or respond or when is it best to stop and listen? When should something be introduced or asked for? Timing is everything. We can do all the right things at the wrong time and that is the same as doing it wrong.
WHERE is a huge question as well. Where do we want to go, not just in direction but with the conversation. Where should we focus our energy? Where do we need to be for this to work? Where is your horses and your own attention? and Where would you like it to be? Also we could ask where is the horses head, neck, or body position and or where would we like it to be? This would be the same for all body parts as well.
WHY and why not should be asked and answered. Why do we want this? Why is this happening? Why should we try this? Why is it important? The why not's also apply here.
HOW is about how we would like to go about things. How do we communicate this better and how do we understand what they are communicating better? How do we want things to play out or how is it supposed to go? There are many variations of how. Which how you choose isn't all that important. Its just important that you fully understand the how you chose to use. Just remember that no matter how well you know it, there is always more to know and learn.
HOW MUCH Lets not forget to ask How much and how much is to much? Keep this one up front in your mind. Its real important we know what works and what may be getting greedy. We don't want to be at a level of, its just enough, but it should be almost effortless. Sometimes the applied level may need to go up and down to fine tune it to that effortlessness. Just beware not to over do or under do it.
We can go so much deeper into every one of these questions. These are things I do instinctively whenever I am communicating with a Horse, a Dog, a Human, or a Cat. Its all part of my evaluation of the situation. In which I am constantly evaluating things as we go. I should mention that these questions are often asked on the fly and need to be analyzed in a blink of an eye. Its difficult to get the correct answer sometimes. But we need to shoot for it or we miss so much. The more you work on getting answers, the more you open your mind to the possibility of new knowledge and understanding. Understanding is relative to our knowledge and experience. The more we learn and the more we do, the better our understanding will be.
I hope this helps you all open your minds and understand the great possibilities that can come through better understanding.
Lets make the world a better place.
Thanks for reading along.
WHO as in who's turn is it to speak, or who needs to respond, and who needs to listen?
WHAT would be more than just what do i do now. It would refer to what is it I need, or what is the horse saying to me and what do they need from me? What goes so deep that we want to know spot on what we want or need to happen, Like front end or hind end movement, forward or backward, what position or body shape are we looking for?,,,etc...etc. What could also pertain to what is the anxiety level in us and or our horses. We should ask what could happen if we try this, as well as what should happen? So we need to think what do we want to happen and what is actually happening?
WHEN as in when is the best time to speak or respond or when is it best to stop and listen? When should something be introduced or asked for? Timing is everything. We can do all the right things at the wrong time and that is the same as doing it wrong.
WHERE is a huge question as well. Where do we want to go, not just in direction but with the conversation. Where should we focus our energy? Where do we need to be for this to work? Where is your horses and your own attention? and Where would you like it to be? Also we could ask where is the horses head, neck, or body position and or where would we like it to be? This would be the same for all body parts as well.
WHY and why not should be asked and answered. Why do we want this? Why is this happening? Why should we try this? Why is it important? The why not's also apply here.
HOW is about how we would like to go about things. How do we communicate this better and how do we understand what they are communicating better? How do we want things to play out or how is it supposed to go? There are many variations of how. Which how you choose isn't all that important. Its just important that you fully understand the how you chose to use. Just remember that no matter how well you know it, there is always more to know and learn.
HOW MUCH Lets not forget to ask How much and how much is to much? Keep this one up front in your mind. Its real important we know what works and what may be getting greedy. We don't want to be at a level of, its just enough, but it should be almost effortless. Sometimes the applied level may need to go up and down to fine tune it to that effortlessness. Just beware not to over do or under do it.
We can go so much deeper into every one of these questions. These are things I do instinctively whenever I am communicating with a Horse, a Dog, a Human, or a Cat. Its all part of my evaluation of the situation. In which I am constantly evaluating things as we go. I should mention that these questions are often asked on the fly and need to be analyzed in a blink of an eye. Its difficult to get the correct answer sometimes. But we need to shoot for it or we miss so much. The more you work on getting answers, the more you open your mind to the possibility of new knowledge and understanding. Understanding is relative to our knowledge and experience. The more we learn and the more we do, the better our understanding will be.
I hope this helps you all open your minds and understand the great possibilities that can come through better understanding.
Lets make the world a better place.
Thanks for reading along.
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Choosing A Path To Your End Result
This topic is something that I wanted to speak about because there are so many ways to get where your going. An example of this could be. If I wanted to go to Bangor from my place, there are so many routes I could take to get there. In some cases the fastest way may not be the fastest way today. Meaning maybe there is an accident that is holding up traffic. If I wanted to just go a certain way because I knew the route better, this may not be a wise choice if maybe there was a bad snow storm. Then it might be better to stick to the main roads. In many cases you could be going along and have to detour for road construction or many other reasons.
This can be the same when working with our horses. It is true that we need a very clear understanding of where we want to go, or our end result. But we should do proper evaluations so we pick a good path to get there. We may find ourselves making a detour because something came up and we need to go a different route. Or the horse needs to understand something else first before they can understand the next part.
I say this because many people go at working with a horse in a planned out route. Using a method they learned from someone else. Even very well known trainers. Sometimes the timing is off and we need to do something else first in order for us to continue. Many methods are broken down so that if you follow it and make sure you're at a reasonable place to move on to the next step, it can be a clear path. There will always be something somewhere that will make you detour. It will either be a horse that is struggling to get the lesson, or maybe a person missing out on a proper evaluation and not being aware of the horses needs. If we miss out on the horses needs then they miss out on understanding us do to them not wanting to except us. We need to ask our questions at the best possible time. In order to do this we must fulfill the horses needs and only ask the questions they can answer.
I to have developed a program and method that I use when working with horses. I follow a path that I've learned to be most productive. But there are times I have to back up because the horse showed me something that needs more or individual attention before I go any further. Sometimes its in me, sometimes its in the horse. Either way the horse always shows me what it is.
When working with students I like to show them the way I do it. Making sure they know that they need to develop their own way. Sometimes what we think is the best way, may not be the best way for us at this time. Sure we can practice anything long enough and well enough to get good at it. But just like the detours in our travels, or with our horses. There may be a detour we need to take in order to get there. We all have limitations. Sometimes they are emotional, physical, mental, even spiritual. We need to take them into consideration and develop them accordingly in order to progress. If we play to our strengths and work on our weaknesses, we can make progress. The horse can tell us these things as well if we listen to them.
In short the point I'm trying to make is, "Be sure to carefully take care of your horses needs before asking them to fulfill yours" Its easy enough to do but sometimes gets forgotten when we are focused on other things. Also, "Be honest with yourself and your limitations so you don't try something you are not ready for" We need to progress in an orderly fashion. We may need to work on our weaknesses first before moving on.
Thank you for reading and I hope this helps and makes sense to everyone. As always this is an interactive Blog, so feel free to comment or ask questions.
This can be the same when working with our horses. It is true that we need a very clear understanding of where we want to go, or our end result. But we should do proper evaluations so we pick a good path to get there. We may find ourselves making a detour because something came up and we need to go a different route. Or the horse needs to understand something else first before they can understand the next part.
I say this because many people go at working with a horse in a planned out route. Using a method they learned from someone else. Even very well known trainers. Sometimes the timing is off and we need to do something else first in order for us to continue. Many methods are broken down so that if you follow it and make sure you're at a reasonable place to move on to the next step, it can be a clear path. There will always be something somewhere that will make you detour. It will either be a horse that is struggling to get the lesson, or maybe a person missing out on a proper evaluation and not being aware of the horses needs. If we miss out on the horses needs then they miss out on understanding us do to them not wanting to except us. We need to ask our questions at the best possible time. In order to do this we must fulfill the horses needs and only ask the questions they can answer.
I to have developed a program and method that I use when working with horses. I follow a path that I've learned to be most productive. But there are times I have to back up because the horse showed me something that needs more or individual attention before I go any further. Sometimes its in me, sometimes its in the horse. Either way the horse always shows me what it is.
When working with students I like to show them the way I do it. Making sure they know that they need to develop their own way. Sometimes what we think is the best way, may not be the best way for us at this time. Sure we can practice anything long enough and well enough to get good at it. But just like the detours in our travels, or with our horses. There may be a detour we need to take in order to get there. We all have limitations. Sometimes they are emotional, physical, mental, even spiritual. We need to take them into consideration and develop them accordingly in order to progress. If we play to our strengths and work on our weaknesses, we can make progress. The horse can tell us these things as well if we listen to them.
In short the point I'm trying to make is, "Be sure to carefully take care of your horses needs before asking them to fulfill yours" Its easy enough to do but sometimes gets forgotten when we are focused on other things. Also, "Be honest with yourself and your limitations so you don't try something you are not ready for" We need to progress in an orderly fashion. We may need to work on our weaknesses first before moving on.
Thank you for reading and I hope this helps and makes sense to everyone. As always this is an interactive Blog, so feel free to comment or ask questions.
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